Yesterday was considered the day when i lost my pride as a waiter.
I was working yesterday and something happened at my workplace.

In conclusion, to not further lose my pride as a waiter,
i've decided to resign from my workplace.

I was accused of something by a customer of things that i did not do.
But i fell into her trap by yelling at her friend.

No matter what happens,
no matter how much my colleagues told me it's not my fault,
i still feel bad.
Because no matter what,
it's my fault for yelling at the customer of mine.

I was seriously too pissed off with what lies she can come up with..
And a lot more that day,
Did i make the right decision by leaving that place.

Seriously speaking,
when i hand over my uniform in front of that situation,
Something in me just tells me that i have to walk out.
But some part of me tells me that i gotta walk back.
But i have no choice, i've already made that decision to step out and leave.

I called Cresta immediately after i leave,
I can't stop crying.
Because i was too hurt on the inside of me.
Talking to Cresta made me feel even much worst.
Yes i did felt better after talking to her.
But i somewhat felt like i've let my other customers who love me so much down.

When i recall back my 6 mths of work over there.
It has indeed been extremely fruitful.
At least now i finally realised that i indeed have my weakness as well.

People always thought that Ben is someone who is very jovial,
Someone who's very positive looking,
Someone who is loved by everyone.
But sorry, at times i have to be called Benjamin.
The old me who was depressed often,
who was lost and did not know what to do at all at times.

But what's the difference between Ben and Benjamin??..
Aren't they the same??..
Yes they are the same guy,
just that Benjamin has God with him and puts in a lot of effort in what he do.
Although Benjamin did not excel as well as Ben,
But Benjamin never fails to give up regardless of the situation.

Seriously, come to think of it now,
Yesterday, October 18 is a very special date to me.
It's actually my Spiritual Birthday.
Meaning, it's the date when i become a christian, back in 2003.

And in 18 October 2008, these simple thing that happened to me made my so upset.

I'm sorry Cresta and Jeffery, and all staff at Box 3 and Han's Cafe.
Sorry All the regular customers whom i've been serving.
It's time to let Ben go,
Because Ben has lost his pride enough already,
But he still needs to keep his pride as a professional waiter.


Tks for being there for me last night Weishan and Cresta.
Talking to u both really made me felt a lot better.

Departure indeed seems to be really tough,
but it's the only option left for me now.
Where is He when i needed him the most?
Or maybe, it's just that i shut myself up from him?
I just wonder which is it..

I always want to be a Hero in some sense
But I think, i still have a long way to go bah..

Labels: Australia, box 3, Thoughts and Feelings