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Hey kiddies =P

Benjamin Tan
29 June
18
Advanced Diploma Hospitality Management
Polytechnic West
~~Swan TAFE (Bentley Campus)~~
~~Marsiling Secondary School~~
City Harvester
W193
Sports Leader

music.
Can you Celebrate - Namie Amuro
Can You Celebrate? - Amuro Namie

Your Attitude is more important than what you wear.

Hi Guys, Welcome to my blog =)

friends.

Alan
Alicia
Alifah
Angel
Averil
Belle
Briana
Cassandra
Chelsea
ChengChin
Cui Ying
Denise
Ellina
Esther Chew
Ferry
Florence
Germaine
Genevieve
Gerald
Gwenii
Hui Jun
Hui Min
Hui Xian
Hwee Ming
Ili
Jermaine
Jiaxin
Jiayi!
Jinghui
Jingjing
Jingyi
Jolene
Josephine
Joyce
Judith
Juliana Wong
Kai Li
Kai Leng
Kang Wei
Karwah
Lorraine
Maisurah
Meng Enn
Mingzhen
Nj
Peggie
Qin Hui
Qing Hui
Qun Bo
Seah Xinyi
Su Jingyi
Syuhadah
Sze Kai
Tangy
Teh Xinyi
Vanessa
Vincent
Wei Li (bro)
Wei Li Wong
Wei Ling
Wendy
Wen Hui
Wen lee
Xin Ping
Yao Zu
YK
Yong Gao(bro)
You Long
Yu Ying
Yvonne Tay
Zhi Hong
Zoe

credits.

layout, bullet: saga city
colors: bone structure
host: blogger

archives.

By post:

By month:

need someone to talk to?.

TALK TO ME!!!

Sunday, 9 November 2008

I'm back to blog again..
Just wanna blog about my life..
I know in the previous few posts that i've stated that i'm not doing well at all..
But i think i'm feeling a bit better already..
After talking to all my close ones like WS, YG and YJ..
I've let all my feelings out to them already..
But WS seems to be ignoring me.. maybe she can't reply since she's in singapore..
But she really was there when i needed her..

I may be feeling better, but i'm still not well mentally and emotionally..
and it's really draining me physically as well..
Especially enduring so many long hours everyday doing my assignments..
Soon, i'll be free from them..
But none of my problems or troubles are related to my assignments at all..
It's basically related to family? Finance? Friends?.. the 3 Fs

Out of the past few days, i must say that ystd and friday has been better days for me..
Because i've learnt a lot..
From my chef, from jeffery and from my best gal mate..
I've learnt about being in hospitality..
You gotta be either aggressive or assertive.. never passive..
You gotta be cunning, be a professional liar and have to backstab people as well to survive..
That's what being in hospitality is all about..
But i don't like the part about lying or backstabbing..
I need to find an alternative to it..

Anyway, gonna post a few pics about recent happenings..

Apple stack pancakes.. brilliant stuff =) tons and tons of sugar.. looks beautiful as well..

When i was working on tuesday, a customer ordered a fruit salad and ice-cream.. so i was bored so i decided to use 2 mins to do one for them.. and as i brought it to the table.. a lady from another table wanted i as well.. and she really made my day by making me really happy.. by saying it looks really beautiful.. and it's yummmy =)

I burnt myself in LSK while carrying the tray for bread.. finally, a scar on my right hand.. with inclusive of fingers, that makes 3 burnt scars already on the right..

This is a picture of my scars on my left.. got a 2 very obvious scars and 2 not so obvious ones.. these are how the scar on my right will look like in a few mth time.. after it "matured" or "upgraded"..

Everytime i cook, looking at these scars always reminds me of how lousy am i..

Burning myelf till like this..

Getting scar-ed for life..

To end,

I went to see her blog just now..

The best,

i mean.. ex-best female mate of mine..

And i saw her posting about how she feels now this and that..

And seriously, i'm still really bothered about it..

I was telling cui ying just now about the lesson i've learnt from this..

But still, it's a very hard price i've paid..

And i was telling her that i don't wish for her to talk to me..

All i wish for is for her to tell me that she has forgiven me for what i said to her..

And even better, i wish to go back to like last time..

When we both really treasure each other..

and telling each other about how thankful we are to each other..

Encouraging one another..

Always waiting for each other to online everyday..

Talking about how we are looking forward to go shopping when i return..

Talking about how we are gonna exercise and go running together..

Talking about going for a sushi buffet..

Talking about so many other things that i can never forget..

I just really want you to talk to me again..

It seems so wrong without you..

Typing this post makes me really down now..

I don't think even the girl whom i love can cheer me up..

To ******, my ex best gal mate:

I thought u were always there for me..

But u abandoned me just like that..

You are just showing me how selfish you really are to me..

But i can't bring myself to blame you at all..

Because, it's just my fault from the beginning..

I tried to sms you, call u all the way 5000 miles away..

But it seems to no avail..

It just sent me this message

"Ben, get lost, I hate you"

I cannot blame you..

Bcoz from the beginning, it was me who hurt you..

I wonder what's ahead of us in the future??
Is it over like this?

I've lost another meaning of going back to singapore already..

I'm sorry everyone..

I've disappointed everyone again..

When will there ever be the time when i'll disappoint no one..

But instead, make them very proud of me..

My own love ones never told me how proud they are of me before..

Even my own parents..

It's just so hurting..

It's really hurting for me..
Just bcoz of one incident..

I'm recalling everything that has happened around me again..

Wei shan has told me not to be bothered about it before..

But sorry girl, i can't.. I'm still bothered by it..

I can't let it go..

As of now?? what can i do??

I just want to quiet down for once..

Take a very good rest..

Will i ever have the chance to??